occasionalrpmemes
Wolf 359 Season 1 Sentence Starters, part 1

Quotes taken from the podcast Wolf 359, with some alterations as I see fit. Contents: Mostly crack and miscellany, a few that could be taken in the direction of angst or action. No nsfw.

  • “You know what, I think I need some coffee. Yeah, that’ll make things better.”
  • “Failure to remain calm could result in your grisly death, so whatever you do, do not panic!”
  • “Jeez, I need more coffee.”
  • “Remember: when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you. But when you’re crying, you’re in violation of regulatory codes and should report to your superior officer for discipline.”
  • “I’m not crazy. There’s definitely something out there.”
  • “Come on, talk to me, whoever you are!”
  • “Are we seriously blowing up NOW?”
  • “Have fun with the rescue op.”
  • “Oh, God. Oh, sweet merciful tapdancing zombie chorus girls.”
  • “So, looks like I didn’t stumble onto alien life today.”
  • “Before anyone decides to get clever or heroic, you should know that I’m not above doing something very stupid here.” 
  • “You’re blowing this way out of proportion. Just come out of there and give me the toothpaste.”
  • “When in doubt, whip it out! ‘It’ being hydrochloric acid.”
  • “This is a day of darkness. Low-tide. Half-melted fudgesicles.”
  • “The helping is its own reward. Well, that and the spinal fluid samples.”
  • “How are you today? Is everything in your life as it should be?”
  • “There are some people who need to be dragged kicked and screaming into improvement.”
  • “You know, I always suspected I would die in a science fair.”
  • “Whoa, are you upset? I didn’t know you could get upset.”
  • “I don’t get upset. I can, however, get frustrated, ruffled, and/or an eensy tiny bit incensed.”
  • “Well, I don’t know what I want, but know how to get it.”
  • “Oookay, maybe this isn’t one of those wait-and-see things. Maybe it’s one of those imminent death things.”
  • “Why are you underneath that table?”
  • “So, basically, we’re barreling towards certain death? That’s all you need to say, [____]- barreling towards certain death.”
  • “Your cooperation has been noted.”
  • “Sit your Swiss ass down and pick a side.”
  • “Hey, buddy. You found any of your marbles yet?”
  • “You know me. I’m the very picture of courage in the face of danger and all that, but in this case, discretion is the better part of valor.”
  • “You can’t solve all your problems by knocking someone out.”
  • “No! This is not cool! This is diametrically opposed to cool!”
  • “It’s been a long, painful, and frankly annoying three hours since I last spoke to you, and a lot’s happened.”
  • “Can we ever really be ready for anything?”
  • “I just want to know if we’re safe.”
  • “Define ‘safe.’”
  • “I think I need a good night’s sleep to let my anger reach its full potential.”

[part 2 here]